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by winterpillowtalk



Series: One Direction vs. Boring Jobs [8]
Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band), niall horan - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - estate agent, Golfing, Humour, M/M, Niall just wants a new home, Real Estate Agent Harry Styles, Real Estate Agent Louis Tomlinson, Zayn messages like a 12 year old, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 06:00:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20830553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterpillowtalk/pseuds/winterpillowtalk
Summary: Niall needs a new Earth home as he got his dream job. Niall must choose between two rival estate agents: Homely Styles Ltd and Tomlinson’s. But will the deadly rivalry between the two owners ruin Niall’s chance to find his perfect home?





	Home

Niall looked out of his window onto the red dusty landscape of Mars and sighed. He wasn’t sure how long he was zoned out for; it could have been minutes, hours or even days – there was no concept of time on Mars. As Niall’s mind started to wonder but a loud ping snapped his attention back to the present, it was a WhatsApp message from Zayn.

**Zayn**  
hey niall im thinkin abt goin 2 tesco do u wnt anythin

Niall looked at his phone in utter confusion. But after a good 10 minutes he realised what Zayn was saying. Grumbling Niall replied.

**Niall**  
Zayn, I live 7 months away from you. Unless it’s in a can and can be put on a space craft, it’s a no. Also, please for the love of God spell correctly, you are not a 12-year-old anymore, and use punctuation, it’s IMPORTANT!

**Zayn**  
no i lik tlkin lik this 😂😂

Niall cringed so much he thought he’d die. Unimpressed with Zayn’s immature messaging he left him on read and continued to look out of his window and thought about moving to Earth, as all the jobs were there as there were no opportunities on Mars, unless you wanted to farm potatoes like Matt Damon did in The Martian. Niall severely disliked that film, as now Mars was the hot new place to farm potatoes; there was only so much you could do with Generic Potatoes™ and he tried them all: mashed, boiled, roasted etc. He wanted a change from his high starch and carb nemesis.

Another loud ping interrupted Niall rage about Generic Potatoes™, he thought it was Zayn asking if he wanted something else from another shop, but to his surprise it was a job advert for his favourite golf supply company. Niall almost fainted he was so excited, he totally forgot he signed up to a newsletter from _Golfing ‘R’ Us. _His heart was racing. He didn’t even read what the job was about, he put down his details and waited. Before he totally passed out with excitement, he messaged Zayn.

**Niall**  
ZAYN! Golfing ‘R’ Us is recruiting and I applied!

**Zayn**  
omg duuude thts amzin!!! 🎉🎉  
bt isnt the company on earth tho? 😱🤔

**Niall**  
Oh yeah, it is. Well I might have to move to Earth then.

**Zayn**  
yaaaas!!! do it pls we can go 2 tesco 2gthr n i cn finlly tweet bouts to go shopping wit me boy nail 😂😂

Niall didn’t even care about Zayn’s appalling spelling and grammar. He was too excited to move to Earth. But there was one problem: he’d have to find a place to live. A sickening fear came over him like a wave. He would have to find an estate agent who was able to find him his perfect home. But that was weeks away, he didn’t have to worry about it right this very second.

\-----

A couple of weeks went by, or what Niall assumed were weeks. He was never one hundred percent sure why everyone on Earth was so obsessed with time or what it was. Could he hold time in his hands? Was it a physical thing? Why did people say, “I’ve bought you some time”? How much was time? Did it cost a lot? He was spiraling again. He gazed out of his window waiting for the call from Angie, the head of recruitment from Golfing ‘R’ Us. As soon as he was about to overthink about the concept of sweet and sour food, his phone rang. He listened to his ringtone for a couple of seconds. It was Spaceman by The Killers, he giggled as he thought how ridiculous the lyrics were. He picked up the phone and was greeted by an overenthusiastic voice which he instantly assumed was put on.

“Hi, is this Niall?” Said the overenthusiastic voice. Tentatively Niall answered “yes, it is. Who’s calling?”. “This is Angie, head of recruitment. I emailed you a couple of days ago saying I would call you. Do you remember?” There it was again, the concept of time. Why do humans love it so much? But he couldn’t get into that again, or he would never stop thinking about it. Angie was clearly getting irritated by Niall’s lack of response she coughed, loudly. Niall almost screamed; he’s got to stop drifting off into highly complex trains of thought. He was too concerned to speak, so instead just made an approving sound. “Good. Well, I have good news for you, you have got the job at Golfing ‘R’ Us. Congratulations” Angie said icily, the overenthusiastic voice was gone. She obviously wasn’t too happy with Niall’s small existentialist crisis three seconds into their conversation, “do you need anything else, or can I leave you?”. Niall didn’t reply, he was in too much shock, he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or had died, but before he could find words again Angie sighed heavily and hung up.

The only thing Niall could do, apart from violently cry was to message Zayn. With shaking hands Niall found Zayn in his contacts and saw that Zayn had already messaged him over thirty times in the past twenty minutes. Most of his message were completely nonsensical and Niall didn’t have the mental capacity to figure out what he meant. With a deep breath, to try and calm his nerves Niall typed out a message.

**Niall**  
Hey Zayn. Angie just got back to me and I got the job at Golfing ‘R’ Us! So I need to find a place to live now. Haha.

Zayn replied instantly which shocked Niall as Zayn never replied quickly.

**Zayn**  
fsdhdfhkhdos!!!!!  
!!!!!!

Niall looked at the gibberish from his friend, and hoped he was excited for him and wasn’t having some kind of seizure, as he would be no help, considering he lived seven months from him, from what he got from the many posters around capital, you’ve got to be fast in the sign of a stroke or seizure.

**Niall**  
Are you okay? You

Before Niall could finish the message another three messages from Zayn came in.

**Zayn**  
THTS AMZIN! DEUDE ULL B SO GUD @ THIS JOB  
WE CAN DO THINS 2GETHR 😁😂  
do u knw were ur livin tho?

**Niall**  
Yeah, Hull.  
Wait don’t you live in Hell?  
* Hull.

There was no reply from Zayn for a good couple of minutes. However, Niall swore he heard Zayn screaming. He shook that off, as Zayn lived almost thirty-four million miles away, and he can’t scream that loud. Can he?

**Zayn**  
dude u ned 2 fnd sme gud plces 2 liv

**Niall**  
I know Zayn. I’m not an idiot. It’s going to be a massive move though. It’s a 14 month round trip and I don’t think I want to do it more than once, y’know?

**Zayn**  
i got u bro  
my frind used homley styles n tomlinsons they were rlly gud  
do u wnt the websites

**Niall**  
Oh yes please! That would be fab. I’m already stressed about it.

Niall patiently waited for Zayn to get back to him with the estate agent’s websites. He knew this was going to be the best decision he has ever made in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 2 coming soon-ish


End file.
